When my husband and I got married in 2016, we knew we wanted to start a family within a year or two. For us, this meant we needed to make some money, pay off our debt, and build a small nest egg for ourselves. Neither of us had a clear vision of what we wanted to be when we grew up (even though we were in our 30’s at the time) so we both put up our “open to work” status, took on multiple jobs, and put our heads down.
To learn more about how the business took off, check out my other blog, “How on earth did you become an Auctioneer?”
After enjoying a year of kid-free marriage (and assuming it might take a while to get pregnant), we decided it was time to start trying…. and 3 weeks later I was pregnant! I had over 25 events on the books in 2018 and wasn’t going to let a little pregnancy get in my way.
Luckily for me, my first pregnancy was absolutely delightful (round two was quite the opposite). I was one of those annoying pregnant women who LOVED being pregnant in every single way. I took the stage at 25 events that year with a baby in my belly and heels on my feet. Believe it or not, I even took the stage on my actual due date and hired a backup Auctioneer just in case I popped!
My first daughter was born on October 9th (14 days after her due date) and like a pure bred entrepreneur (and lowkey lunatic) I made an appearance at one of our biggest events only 4 days later with a newborn in tow. No, I did not go on stage and no, she did not come inside, but one of my newbie Auctioneers was performing for the first time and I wanted to be there to support him. Looking back, I’m shocked that my husband even agreed to this but alas, we Auctioneers are just a different breed.
Thus began the juggle of growing a business, and a family, at the same time.
Pumping in the green room wearing an evening gown. Tackling emails at 2am after middle of the night feedings. Hosting venue walk-throughs with a baby in the stroller. Nursing during conference calls. Changing diapers during conference calls. Doing laundry during conference calls. Learning to be a mother…. During conference calls.
Some may see this as crazy. Too much. Not enough rest or soaking up motherhood. But I didn’t feel this way. Sure I was tired, overwhelmed, maybe a bit frazzled… but I was also enjoying every minute. I loved the hustle, I loved the juggle, I loved identifying as a mother AND a business owner. As a nurturer AND a provider. I loved having somewhere else to go when motherhood felt too hard or turning to my baby girl when being a business owner felt too overwhelming. This existence provided a duality that I actually really enjoyed.
Looking back, I think becoming a mother was somewhat easier because of my experience in starting a business. I knew what it took to grind- to be unwavering in your commitment to something (and in this case to someone)- to sacrifice for the sake of what you’re building.
Growing a business is unpredictable, just like motherhood. Growing a business is hard, just like motherhood. Growing a business is deeply rewarding, just like motherhood.
So while there were certainly moments where I felt I was hanging on by a thread, barely able to make it through a day or an hour or even a moment- I was always able to come back to the wise words of my grandmother, “this, too, shall pass” and it always did.
Over time, I learned how to close my computer at the end of the workday, how to stop letting my inbox rule my life, and how to start allowing motherhood to be my true first priority (admittedly, it did not start that way).
Starting my own business prepared me to be a better mother. It taught me when to push hard and when to let go… how to run on very little sleep and still be effective…. how to manage high emotions without completely imploding…. And perhaps most importantly, how to accept and forgive my own mistakes with grace.
Today I know how to prioritize my kids before all else, without sacrificing myself or my clients. I know how to communicate with my kids about my travel and wok commitments and also how to communicate with my clients about my availability and set clear boundaries.
Being in the workforce while starting a family is challenging for anyone- whether you’re a mother, father, business owner, or employee- and certainly isn’t feasible for everyone. But for my personality, being an entrepreneur helped me become a better mother and being a mother has helped me become a better business owner. I’m fortunate and grateful to have a loving and supportive husband who never shamed me for wanting both of these truths for myself.
Being a parent is hard. Being a business owner is hard. And being both simultaneously may feel impossible. Just remember the words of my grandma, no matter what you’re experiencing on either side of the fence, “this, too, shall pass.”
